Someone hurt me this past week. At least, i can walk away from it all knowing this is what living feels like. unpredictable, vulnerable, and wonderful.
i wish people were more honest. They say one thing, and act in a completely opposite fashion. The guy i had a crush on, for instance, says he's attracted to a certain thing... and yet pursues the exact opposite when she dangles herself in front of him. yuck. Save me the disappointment and be a shallow jerk from the beginning, please. Makes me wonder if people are actually capable of telling the truth.
normally this wouldn't bother me as much, but i guess as i peel back the layers that have kept myself concealed for so long.. i feel like I am expecting the same from others. when they deceive me, i feel more vulnerable because i took the step towards being known, and they had motives of a malicious kind.
these encounters make me wonder if it is better to guard myself. Is this process of letting people in all in vain?
No.
Tonight i will lie in my bed knowing that i was true in displaying myself to others. There is something to be learned from each person around us, and what can we learn if we don't let ourselves be known?
To the boys:
take caution in pursuing me. it is not for those that tire easily. you will have to be patient. you will have to be creative. but... my heart is precious. i have saved it from so many things in order that i can give it to a certain gentleman unscathed. there will be girls out there that are great, and the chase will be easier... but perhaps i have the walls to weed out those that aren't willing to try and knock them down. do not waste my time if you have foul motives... you will not succeed.
To he who will come:
i protected myself for you. be bold in coming after me.
sweet dreams.
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