Gypsy

I haven't been able to sleep lately. It's exciting for like one night, but I need to rest. Even though my body is a bit tired, my Spirit is more awake than ever before. The only good thing about my lack of sleep is I have been able to write poems and songs.

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One day I will tour this country in a van. I want to play music and speak truth into people's lives. It'll happen. I was born a gypsy.

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My mom and stepdad leave for isreal tomorrow. I'm sad to see them go but really excited to have the house to myself to create some more. I am putting everything in my craft right now (art, music). Expression is so important for me. I come alive when I paint and sing.

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I wrote a love song the other day, but I have never been in love. I'm waiting for someone that delights in me and I in him. It's worth the wait. then i can write a heap of songs about him. <3

Freedom

To know about my journey, I feel like it's neccesary to know about some big things that have been affecting my life. I'll start by saying this. I know some people write these blogs and put their best foot forward, talking about all the rad things they are doing, places they are going, people they are hanging with. They post things on the positives in their life, but I guess I missed the memo on how to correctly write a blog. I'm real and I have so many faults. I dissapoint people all the time, and I will most likely dissapoint you. I'm damaged goods. But, I'm not just that. His grace has covered it all. I have been a slave to addictions and superficiality, but I have been called to be Free. So, with all that said, some of the things i write in this blog are about lessons I'm learning, and healing that is taking place. I don't write to make myself seem cooler in your eyes, or more attractive. I blog because He has written every line of my story, for His glory... and I know anything good in me is Him. The days I spend here are blessings, and each one can give you a little more understanding of where I am on this journey.



Today was incredible. Thank you Daddy for the sunshine! I needed it so badly. I woke up early, had a meeting, then met Haylie, Logan and my new friend Tasha at Sope Creek. The weather was absolutely perfect. The company was even better...

I had so many hesitations moving back to Atlanta because some relationships I had been building for years here were, well were non-existent anymore, really. I let my selfishness get in the way of truly caring for and pouring into others before I left for Portland. I had created a divide between of few of these people that seemed like would never and could never be bridged again. And for me, being someone who prides themselves in pursuing friendships through love, it is shameful to admit how my selfishness did impact my dearest friends. But it did. When I finally moved back, guilt and more shame continued to cloud my life. I felt miserable with how I was treating others, and yet still claiming to be a lover...a peacemaker...a friend. I got in touch with the girls that I had hurt and they have since had nothing but grace and forgiveness to offer me.

We are now growing again in our friendship and I cannot tell you how blessed I am for the the grace I have experienced with them. It really has given me a glimpse of the Kingdom.


Grace amazing has overflowed in almost all of my relationships now. With my family, I have come to overlook past hurts and dfferences and reach boldly out in love. The spirit that dwells in me enables me to speak peace and love into other's lives, but by living selfishly, I wasn't even able to use my gifts effectively. Everything that I was holding on to so tightly and seeking selfishly is nothing to me.

I know my story is not unlike anything you have heard or read before. I was lost, found, hurt, healed and now free. My story continues, I still will struggle, be beaten down, and I'll get back up...praising His name and spreading his love whereever I go.

Granddaddy

My granddaddy was a good man. He wasn't really my granddady, but my great grandfather. Since he raised my dad, I never thought to call him anything else. His hands were calloused and rough, reminding him of the years tending his farm in the flat land of Oklahoma. Even after he left the farm, he kept a garden of his own of cherry tomatoes and cabbage. He walked five miles until the day he passed away and loved his wife stronger than any love you read about in storybooks. And everytime I went to see him, he'd let me ride in the back of his pickup truck to his pond where we'd fish together. I never caught as many as he did, but he always encouraged me. He had this stash of crayons and coloring books for me and my sister and would always put our scribbles up on his refrigerator. I miss him. It has been years since he has passed, but I miss him today. He walked with the Lord. I sang "How Great Thou Art" at his funeral. I've been seeing my Father in Heaven a lot like my granddaddy lately. My Father is love. My Father encourages creativity. My Father cherishes His relationship with me. My little scribbles... my inabillity to catch a fish... all my silly imperfections and short-comings... He delights in. How great you are, Father.

Everything

Normally I don't watch these things, but this video really challenged me. Ch-ch-check it out.