So there was this racoon...

Since it is a new season, even to the blog circle. I wanted to make sure I clarify a few things. I will not be posting things about upcoming shows, recordings, etc. because there is a time and place for that, and it isn't now and here. Mostly, I'll write about funny stories, wild animals, unfortunate dates , adventures, and lessons I am learning. I may even throw in a recipe if I feel especially confident about a kitchen creation. You will find honesty here.

Now that that is out of the way... I had quite the interesting day today.

First off, I woke up finding my phone completely utterly useless. I cannot receive or make phone calls. Normally, I am a huge fan of simplifying, but I guess what I am really a big fan of is simplifying what I want on my terms. this entire year I have debated turning off my phone because I find cellphone communication to be simply ridiculous. Most conversations are reduced to a text message and very little actual interaction is needed. Also... let's not forget how lots of people have the tendency to over-analyze text messages.. adding a motive, attitude and suggestiveness to mere responses. AND. Everyone expects you to always have your phone on you and ready to respond to their every communication. Some people are offended when you don' actually respond quick enough. I miss the old days when if someone was unavailable, a message would be recorded on a land line and the message would then be answered at the receivers convenience. All this being said... after one day without a cell phone... I miss it.

Then i went to my plasma donation appointment (more or less a donation when you are getting paid for it).. and after biking there and putting up with a guy's pickup lines, they inform me that the processing center was closed and because of this, I would have to come back next week to complete my donations. Drats.

After, I laid out on a trampoline for a majority of the day and thought of heavenly things like freedom and joy.

When it became a bit too chilly outside, I babysat for a church. (i love the kids I babysit for) They seriously are the cutest things ever. they pick their noses and fight over blocks, and i really love them. Then, I had made an appointment with a friend for a haircut, and he never actually came. At this point, I also realized that I had forgotten my keys in my apartment, leaving me stranded until about 2:30am.

i bike over to my friends' house to use a phone, and we ended up getting some wine, playing games, and listening to music...it was delightful and I am really excited to see these new friendships grow! It also helps that these boys are just great and so fun. no offense to girls, but it seems like I have always enjoyed hanging with the boys better.

It's been quite the unexpectedly good day.

(stayed tuned for the raccoon story...i am to sleepy to add it in right now)

sweet dreams, atlanta, tennesee, denver, sydney, and mexico.

Hate to Admit it...

I have adopted a coy and clever barrier and it has kept me safe for a few years now... but has also kept others at quite a distance. Never would I want to believe that my precautions had reprocussions within the circles of my friends. But indeed they did.

I want to be genuine.

I want to trust others.

I want to let others know me.

The truth is...

I have been hurt.

I have been abandoned.

I have never been able to really let someone in... since the accident, since he walked away, since he hurt her, since felt I needed to hold it all together for everyone.

The Lord proves faithful, but it is His people that constantly let me down. Though I commune with Him, I miss out on his creation. I am really tired of it all. So this is me being genuine, I am a mess, I want to learn to trust again. Please be patient with me.

Also: Today I sat under a large tree and mister ant crawled on my foot. He didn't bite me, he just crawled there. When I was little I used to pull ants apart.. one leg at a time. Hate to admit it, but it's true. Now... I know better...that even ants are the handiwork of an ever present God. I hope this is true because tomorrow I am going to my first "support group" for something i don't feel like writing about... and to be honest.. it seems like a really big ant right now.

Detours

I created a list. I want this summer to be different in that I actually accomplish what I set out to do, so I made a list. One goal is to keep up with this blog. Whenever I don't keep up with journals and such, I always feel the need to summarize the time that I wasn't making entries, to catch everyone up to speed. Well, I don't want to do that now. So, I'm, starting instead, with the current.

Today, I rode my bicycle to my babysitting job, when in fact I do not work until tomorrow. The assistant working at the church, who was grey, wrinkled and precious told me that it wasn't actually Thursday, even though I thought it was up until that point. Part of me still thinks it may be a conspiracy. {Sidenote- I really love wrinkles. When I was little, I would sit on my Grandma's lap and trace her wrinkles on her hand. She was beautiful and the wrinkles added to her charm.} After that, I visited some friends and rode uphill for the remainder of my trip. There was lots of construction that made my trek even longer than normal. And I was not pleased about it. Then I got the mother of all migraines. It was miserable.

The day definitely didn't go as I planned, and normally I would just be fine with only complaining.. but I must be getting older and wiser because it doesn't seem fair to not count the blessings, too.

I get so much joy from riding my bicycle, and since there was so much construction today, I was forced to go on an unlikely path. There were an extreme amont of wildflowers blooming along this new route, and I saw the most wonderful bird. I really like learning about nature and animals, so when I got home I tried to look up the description of the bird, but I couldn't find a match. What a mysterious thing to behold. My friends have been so great, too. Juli and I are nearly done with painting my room! I picked a mustard color, but she thinks its more similar to marigold. I refuse to call it marigold because I think it sounds elitist for some reason. In any case, it's beautiful and will definitely be a great solace for me. Music has been lovely, too. I 'm playing at my friend Eleny's house on Friday alongside some of my favorite local bands and I am so excited! I just wouldn't have expected this a few months back.

Ultimately, I've learned this today: Life doesn't always look like you think it should, but the detours can prove to be a blessing, if you let yourself appreciate them.

Create in me a gracious heart.

-melanie annabelle