The Wilderness

I like the wilderness. I have known many men that have sought time in the wilderness to find themselves, to ponder the meaning of their seemingly meaningless lives, or to connect with the Lord. But what is it about the wilderness that beckons us in such a way?

Perhaps its the furry little creatures that jump, crawl, swing and explore. Or the wildflowers that bloom out of unexpecting rocks. It could be the smell of pine, the touch of the dirt, and the taste of the wind. Perhaps its the simplicity and intricacy that happen simultaneously.

Perhaps its the stars that reveal themselves more vividly. These glimmers of light that dare us to make lofty wishes upon their names. We close our eyes tightly and like children, we beleive once again in happy endings.

It can be a frightening place, too.

My world has some how transformed into the wilderness. Such beauty has been revealed to me in the past couple of days. But, at the same time, I feel as if I have journeyed into the wilderness alone. My past has crept in and brought me to a place of sadness I haven't felt in a while. I have tried so hard to forget what has happened, and ignore the consequences that have come from it all. But in this wilderness, instead of wishing on fleeting stars, I am find myself relying upon the Lord. I have tasted and seen His goodness through it all... but i'm angry. i'm hurt. Now, I feel so far into the wilderness, that I must press on, instead of turning back for refuge in common things. I am seeking the transformation that will come from this wilderness alone.

Healing will come... but the road is hard. I grow weary.

This season is one that is breaking, molding, equipping, and humbling.

and I say, "amen, come Lord Jesus."